Don't Ask, Don't Tell in the United Methodist Church

By Chett Pritchett

The repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in the armed forces is the culmination of years of hard work by activists, policies makers, former military members, and voters. The idea that service members could be dishonorably discharged for the simple fact of whom they love is a notion whose time is extinct.

Had you asked me my feelings on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" two years ago, I would have been ambivalent. In many ways, the current structures for safeguarding our nation perpetuate the military-industrial complex. I believe our nation has wandered down a slippery slope in the "war" on terror, while slashing funding for education, health care and the environment. For LGBT persons who wanted to serve in the military, I could only ask, "Why would you want to do that?"

"Why would you want to do that?" is basically the same question I had heard for years about my ordination process in the United Methodist Church. Why would I, an openly gay man, seek ordination in a denomination that claims that "homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching"?

I could have easily closeted myself and lived in fear that my Bishop or members of the ordination committee would discover the truth. I could have lied had I ever been directly asked about my sexual orientation. I could have become celibate in order to conform with the "self-avowed, practicing homosexual" clause in our Book of Discipline. I could have operated (and did for four years) under an all-too-familiar form of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" within the United Methodist Church.

I know many candidates for ministry within the United Methodist Church who have wrestled with these options. Some have been ordained and still live within the fear of the closet. Some manage to live within the tension of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."  Some have left the United Methodist Church and found a home in another denomination that affirms their call to ministry and their sexuality and/or gender identity. Sadly, many have left the Church altogether, hurt by the people of God and unable to trust structures that say “God loves you…but not that much.”

All of these are valid, understandable decisions. I have chosen another way – as an active, involved, out layperson who sees deep connection between the harmful policies of our denomination and decline in vitality of our local congregations. When pastors cannot be their authentic selves, we cannot expect parishioners to be their authentic selves in order to engage in radical hospitality, passionate worship, intentional faith development, risk-taking mission or extravagant generosity.

The repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in the United States armed forces did not happen overnight. It took many long years of grassroots organizing, policy work, relationship building, phone calls, emails, protests, prayer, meetings, educational trainings, and for people of good conscience, regardless of their political persuasion, to stand up and let their voices be heard. The same must happen in the United Methodist Church. We must tell our stories; we must work across denominational lines/political lines/secular-sacred lines; we must call, email, write, and have conversations with our Annual Conference and General Conference delegates; we must pray; we must sing and worship and protest; we must tell the stories of those who have left the United Methodist Church.

Will you join me in this work and repeal a long too accepted “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”?

Chett Pritchett is Lay Leader at Dumbarton United Methodist Church in Georgetown.